My bad day effectively started last night, when I stayed up til 11 p.m. only to find out there was no new episode of Catfish and instead they aired some old episode of Teen Mom 2. I was pretty pissed I was looking at some ugly irresponsible teenagers (which I spent my entire high school career doing; who needs that on their televisions?) instead of Nev Schulman and instantly put on an old episode of Grey’s Anatomy to soothe myself.
How could you not love this man?
Before I continue telling you why my day sucked, you should know that yesterday I made some sort of online appointment thingy to see a dentist. My wisdom tooth are coming in and hurt like the dickens, and I filled out some online form that said I wanted to be seen sometime today late morning. However, I never got any kind of confirmation or a call with an appointment time so I assumed they couldn’t fit me in.
WRONG. My phone rang at the disgusting hour of 8:23 a.m., woke me up, and plunged me into my worst nightmare. I got ready for my 10 a.m. appointment and lamented the loss of my morning sleep, which everyone knows is the best sleep of all. Dreams you have in the morning are brought to you on the wings of angels. Everyone knows that.
So I showed up at the dentist a little panicky. I am a panicky person even when doing simple things like making a left turn so my anxiety was off the charts this morning. After about 8 tries, it took two hygienists to shove a small plastic x-ray film thingy into the back of my mouth and then that was it.
These are my teeth.
A few minutes later I received my death sentence: I need a root canal, then I need all 4 wisdom teeth removed, and then I get a cap on the tooth I had the root canal on. Yay.
Being that I’ve never had any dental work done, if you would like to offer advice and/or reassurance that it can’t possibly be as bad as I’m imagining it will be I would appreciate it. No horror stories, please. Besides, they couldn’t possibly be as bad as the ones I am already creating for myself. I am irrationally afraid that the tools they use will be dropped down my throat and I will die.
So whatever. I got that done and then I decided to do a craft, because crafts always cheer me up. Now I’m going to teach you how to make the same craft, and if you make it, I want you to send me a picture because I want to see if you are better than me at making…
YOUR VERY OWN RACERBACK TANK TOPS FROM OLD TSHIRTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know what you’re thinking. Nicole, can it be done? Yes, yes it can, and I will show you how to do it not in a way that it looks like a kindergartener did it but possibly in a way that looks like a twelve year old who’s bad with scissors did it. Originally I found this idea on Pinterest, but I consulted like 8 different tutorials on this same thing because none of them made 100% sense. I hope this one does!
First, you need a tshirt. I took one of my boyfriend’s old shirts, because I have like 35 dresses and zero tshirts. Also, you need to work with something pretty big, or the entire point of this tank top is moot.
Now you’re going to cut off the collar and the bottom just above the hem, and also the sleeves. The sleeves are a little tricky but think about how thick you like your straps, and start cutting on the shoulder there. Cut straight down a little bit and then curve it so you finish about an inch under the armpit. 
Mine doesn’t look perfect, and at no point in this entire exercise is anything you cut going to look perfect (if it does I hate you), and it actually doesn’t matter once you put it on because you really can’t see any little mistakes.
Now flip the tank top over and cut a deep V down the center of the back. This is the easiest part of the whole thing, and it was actually the part I agonized over the most. I was really too stressed out about making a tank top.
Next you’re gonna take the hem you cut off the bottom of your tank top and streeeeetch it til it snaps and you have one long skinny piece of fabric. I overestimated my fabric stretching strength and had to step on it and pull up til it ripped. Then you just take both sides of the back tank top straps and twist them together, making it look like a racerback tank top is supposed to. Now you get to do my favorite part – take the long fabric strip you just stretched, tie one end at the bottom of the racerbacky part of the tank top, wrap it tightly around, and tie it again at the top. Use double knots!
When you’re all done it will look something like this. I hope yours looks better than mine, but I secretly hope you failed at this DIY.
You may think you’re done but you’re wrong. Don’t put your scissors away yet, because now it’s time to put on the tank top and realize you haven’t cut the collar low enough and you look like a dumbass in an apron.
Figure 3.5 A dumbass in an apron
It’s okay because this is easily fixable. Take off the tank top and cut the collar deeper until you’re happy with it. THEN you’re done. These are pictures of me being thoroughly impressed by myself:
Toward the end of this activity, I called my sister to the basement to take pictures of my back for me. In the process, our cat, Katniss, followed her down, ran under my bed, and a few minutes later, we found her like this:
Yep. She’s inside my box spring.
Totally normal, right?
I got all four wisdom teeth out at once, and they put me under so I didn’t feel a thing while they did the whole procedure. I woke up crying, which I have heard happens to other people, and I couldn’t talk. But whatevs. Then I got excited trying to tell my mom Taylor Swift was on the radio and everyone thought I was dying… ANYWAY. I went home and took lots of fun, expensive pain meds that didn’t really do anything so I took ibuprofen and slept and my mom took care of me and I ate jello and pudding for like four days straight because my mouth hurt. But one time I was out for sushi and my sister saw a friend who had gotten her wisdom teeth out earlier that day and she was fine.
So I’m pretty sure you’ll be okay as long as you’re stocked with pillows, blankets, TV series and movies galore, and lots of food that requires no chewing.
I work at a dentist’s office and it’s really not as bad as you are thinking it will be! For your wisdom teeth they’ll put you out, you’ll look like a chipmunk for a few days afterwards but they give you pain meds and you’ll feel totally fine :) For the root canal and crown, we do them in office every single day and patients always come out relieved that ‘it wasn’t as bad as they thought it would be.’ They’ll numb you up (or if it’s far enough back and the right doctor they’ll put you out again) for the root canal and you won’t feel a thing. The only thing you may not like is the sound of the tools, but it’s not too long of a procedure! For the crown, that’ll be the easiest part. They’ll prep the tooth and put a temporary on it, make you a permanent crown and then you’ll be home free!
As for your tank tops, they’re adorable and I love them :) I hope all is well!
I LOVE NEV. and I’ve never had more than cavity fillings but anything major done in your mouth won’t hurt when it’s getting done because of the stuff they give you! I’ve never had a really bad dentist experience, pain-wise, but it always is a pain in the ass and extremely uncomfortable to have someone all up in your mouth. I hope your procedures go well! Love you!