I apologize for not posting in awhile, but don’t worry, I’m here now, and I have a lot of things to say. Most of them have to do with my return to school and last night’s VMAs.
So we can get it out of the way, here are my VMA thoughts:
- Taylor Swift did not tell anyone to “shut the you-know-what up.” She put her arm on Selena and then said, “sorry for my arm.” None of y’all would make it in society if you suddenly lost your hearing. Why don’t you watch Switched at Birth once in awhile and learn how imperfect lip reading can be and get back to me.
- And on that same note, Taylor Swift did not “give shade” to Harry Styles. First of all, this whole “shade” expression — shouldn’t that be a good thing? I love you, so I will shade you from the sun? Like when Mr. Sheffield and Fran Fine were cast away during their honeymoon and fanned each other with large palm leaves? That’s not the point, though. The point is, “I Knew You Were Trouble” was written before Harry’s time, so what she said in her acceptance speech was aimed at the man himself, John Mayer, NOT, in fact, Harry Styles, who she later clapped profusely for when One Direction won an award, who she chatted with before the show, and who she took a picture with later on that night.
- Miley. I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you.
- The NSync reunion was fine. It wasn’t spectacular. The Justin performance as a whole was spectacular, but NSync? Eh.
- Danity Kane is back together. I am still addicted to kissing, and hugging, touching and rubbing. I am, in fact, a sucker for love. For love. For love. For love.
- Shailene Woodley is fabulous, and IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN JOHN GREEN’S PHOTOS FROM THE SET OF THE FAULT IN OUR STARS THEN HOW HAVE YOU BEEN SPENDING YOUR MONDAY???
Meanwhile, last week, I returned to school for my seventh (AND LAST!!!!!!!!) year of college. No, I am not receiving my PHD this year. What I am receiving is a useless English degree that has taught me little to nothing about writing and a lot about coming up with a B quality paper the night before it’s due about a book I’ve never read.
Anyway, I’m still technically a student at Pace in New York, but I’m taking classes at the school in Georgia I originally attended before I transferred over as a transient student. It has been really weird so far being back at a school I used to go to, especially since I am now older than most of the students and now that I’m used to NYC schools, I’ve realized it’s a huge cultural difference. For example, the coffee sucks and there are almost no hipsters. I am disappointed on both counts.
Also, the school has put in a Clinique counter. Imagine my surprise when there was no gift with purchase when I dropped $248 in the bookstore today. On two books. One of them was a $216 Spanish book. Apparently the people who wrote this book have a serious monopoly on the Spanish language if it’s the only one I could possibly learn from.
And I forgot how much I truly hate the elitist attitude many English majors have. I think I was distracted by the theatrical dance majors at Pace, who I hate more than any other group of students I’ve ever met. You’re in line for Starbucks at 7 am and they’re practicing routines. I’m not awake yet. Please stop. But now that they’re gone, I just really can’t stand people who mention in class that they don’t understand why we as a society waste time talking about celebrities. First of all, if I stopped talking about celebrities, I would effectively stop talking, period. Also, her exact words were, “people worry too much about Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck.” You are thinking of Jennifer Lopez. Again, please stop.
And I could hardly pay attention in class today because the girl sitting in front of me in linguistics was — I kid you not — shopping for assless panties in the middle of class. I mean, I guess it prevents wedgies, but the pairs of underwear on that website that did have a butt had a tail sewn on, and I just immediately became uncomfortable and confused but somehow also fascinated, all at the same time. There was a lot going on, and now I can’t even tell you what I learned today in class.
I would like to make friends, but so far I have only spoken to three people: a girl who looks like Shoshana from Girls (and yes, that is why I talked to her), a guy who caught up to me after class to give me his number (and his @aol.com e-mail address… you know, in case I wanted to forward him some dirty jokes or something?), and a girl named Katsy who sits behind me in Spanish because our professor kept calling her Katie and it reminded me of the time in tenth grade when it was Thanksgiving and my history teacher constantly asked me questions about my Italian heritage but did not know I was Nicole.
Today on the way home from school, though, I made up a whole dance routine spanning the entire length of “Best Song Ever.” I feel that it was worthwhile.
Needless to say, it’s been pretty eventful.
OH, and the best news: Kennedy and I are reuniting next month to road trip to Nashville and see our best friend, Taylor Swift, close out her tour. Am I excited? If you consider the fact that it is ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT excited, then yes, I am excited.
How have you been?